suck it grocery store

Today I battled my most hated nemesis again.....the grocery store, with the added obstacle of rain. As I wiggled in between my car and the one next to it parked incredibly too close, trying not to rub my clean jeans against this guys passenger door coated in damp red dirt, I had my usual thought...."Why isn't someone doing this for me?" I thought that if my husband had made this trip he wouldn't be having as much trouble as I was. He wouldn't be struggling to see through the raincoat hood that was sheltering styled hair, or shuffling as fast as he could on wet concrete in heels, or struggling with the weight of his purchase and falling bra straps. Is it hard because I'm a girl? Or is it hard because I make it hard? Grocery shopping is always a struggle for me and today it extra sucked. It was supposed to rain all day today but it only ended up raining for about half an hour.....the half an hour I went to the store.

Time.......

Time has become a slippery, tricky, beast of a thing lately. The seasons can't even keep up seeing as how we had a blizzard on the first day of spring today. And since we are all eager for a change of scenery this was the extra pinch of discouragement on the mound of cabin fever we are trying to brush off our shoulders. As another and another and another day passes and I still don't have the super human ability to stop time so that I can do some catch up work, I actually get increasingly annoyed. I don't expect the world to stop turning but for goodness sake......could it meet me in the middle somewhere? As I was pounding the elyptical and contimplating this whole subject I realized time does stand still, in one place.......our hearts. Time can freeze for years in there and we don't have any more control over what files itself away than we have control over the seasons.....however confused they may be. But what's there stays until you can catch up to it, and only when you fully grasp what's in your heart will you be able to move on. And THAT is how I wish I could live my days, with time to catch my breath. I get it though. We need to be on someone else's ticker, because if we weren't we'd all be a bloody mess. (sry I watched a Harry Potter marathon today)

Today I was eating lunch on my big over sized chair watching TV when a termite commercial come on presenting it's first image of a close up of a queen termite and her engorged thorax 3 times the size of her body dumping out eggs. Having a mouthful of reduced calorie lasagna this sends me into a panic. What my eyes were seeing in combination with what was in my mouth and being completely grossed out but still chewing out of pure reflex at this point. The assault on my late lunch continued for an entire minute. What are these ad people thinking?! That's not the only gross out commercial cruising the air waves. Those NyQuil ads with people gurgling and drooling in their sleep are atrocious as well. Know your audience. Americans are the fattest and laziest people on the planet OF COURSE we are going to be eating in front of the TV at one point. Is nothing safe anymore?! Sheesh.

Kilgore...only good for mini-vacay

I have been on a press tour of sorts for the past week. Wedding to see college friends, then Dallas to spend time with sisters, lunch to catch up with a friend who just got married, on to Kilgore to see parents and friends with new babies, and a stop in Tyler to see another college friend's new place. Oklahoma is a fair bit of a drive so I figured if I was coming down I might as well cover all my bases. It's always nice to be back in Texas, no one stares at my Driver's License like it's a stinkin passport. I am currently in Kilgore and and every time I come home from wherever I might be doing my living the town seems to be getting smaller, not in size....just smaller. I did the "rounds" with my mother, she took me to all the little stores on Main Street in downtown. I was incredibly impressed with the the stuff my sleepy town had to offer since I'd been gone. Who couldn't love a shop who sold me the sparkliest beeswax candlesticks I have ever seen! They come complete with a pair of my husband's rolled eyes I'm sure. The thing I love most about visiting Kilgore is my parent's house, the best thing about it is the silence. The peacefulness is so intoxicating that I don't search for the remote, I rummage through my mom's book cases for a book to read and enjoy the sun pouring through her picture windows. But as much as I have respect for the people who enjoy this sweet town, the best thing about visiting Kilgore for me......is leaving it.

wedding date.....

It never fails to amaze me how men dread attending a wedding. We don't ask you to make the time and arrangements to come with us to get kicks out of watching you squirm.....we want you there....we need you there. They are occasions we get to be all dressed up with our man and if we're lucky...you'll actually dance with us. We get to sit in a romantic setting and enjoy fabulous food and drink as a couple. It's the best free date ever. And as for you, all you have to do is tolerate a tie, kiss me when the bride and groom look happier than us, drink free booze and 3 hours later when we arrive home get some because your wife is on a romance high. Really men, weddings are like the best untapped resource. Learn it. Live it.

Avatar.......

I finally made the pilgrimage to see Avatar, and in IMAX 3-D for that matter, which was a super choice on my part since I fair so well when overstimulated. I nearly jumped out of my seat when the fancy theater speaker promo came on which got laughs from everyone I came with including my husband. "Shut up and drink your gallon of icee," I told him. After a few previews I concluded that this was NOT like at the zoo when we saw the whales in 3-D, this was an attack on my senses. I don't watch action movies because they send my anxiety into overdrive, I am way too empathic and feel every character and very quickly get emotionally exhausted. Half way through the film I have already given Ricky hand cramps from squeezing so hard so he takes it back, at which time I begin to attack his thigh. There was one point when the soldiers were invading my lap at the end that I thought..."I wonder what I would look like in 3-D?" "No wait, that's real life you idiot." When the movie ended I just went limp in my chair. I was exhausted, I had been tense for the last 3 hours....scared ****less by alien dinosaurs, cried, ached....the whole nine yards. And for a genre I don't care for the film was AMAZING. I so wanted to hate it because I had heard all the hype. Spending $500 million on a movie....who did James Cameron think he was? A friggen genius that's what! The alien world he created was like I was watching the best dream I ever had but not in the back of my head, in front of my eyes taking in every color and detail. It essentially was a historical documentary just set in the future, and since we are in Oklahoma,"The Native State," I couldn't help but think there were Indians somewhere in that theater just exploding inside during the war at the end. The actress who played the lead alien girl was A-MAZ-ING. Her performance was purely voice, you never saw her face and the emotion she delivered for that character was incredible. I also thought that the soldier guy's avatar looked like Justin Timberlake when he smiled. I wish the whole movie could have been glow in the dark night scenes, jellyfish butterflies and flying scenes through the floating mountains. That's when the 3-D was good, most other scenes having the 3-D was evil. It makes me tired to think that James Cameron had to create that world from scratch, it makes perfect sense that it took years to create that movie. I wish I could have been at the premiere, after the film there must have been an uproar of thunderous standing ovation applause and no one does that anymore at the movies. I clapped though.....cause the film deserved it.

mens figure skating......

Men's figure skating is the event of the moment at the Olympics. I'm watching playing that game in my head where I try to pick out which ones are gay. When did all men's figure skaters become Asian? Even the ones not from Japan are of the persuasion and every time they announce the Japanese guy's names it makes me want Sushi. The music has been surprisingly entertaining. The french guy even skated to Techno. I used to think I'd have to go into business remixing music for skaters and gymnasts because it was so darn boring. And the next guy on deck to skate is wearing a black unitard with a deep V-ed chest that's laced up with a hot pink thread. That's special......oh and he's the American. God Bless America.

Local News.......snooooze

Local news programs are something fierce.......fiercely annoying. Out of all the places I've lived and been the only interesting nightly news I've come across was in New York City. But anything that happens there is exciting so that's not really fair. The women anchors need to be more creative than a power suit and should loose the neck jewelry. Speak to me like a person and not some poor imitation of your male co-anchor and what is that snobby twinkle they always have in their eye? I am constantly bombarded with commercials for helicopters and Doppler Radars as if I've never seen a news team with one in my life and should set to TIVO pronto to check out this magic of which they speak of. The promo for my news tonight included a story of which to warn us that Oklahoma is not only prone to tornadoes but also earthquakes with the graphic in the back being the state of Oklahoma breaking in two, and also a stunning human interest piece about "Awake Lipo." What am I supposed to say to myself? "MMMM can't wait!I'm sure I'm gonna go to bed with thoughts of sugar plum fairies and gum drops." News is useful for weather and for tuning in if you are gonna be on it.....because who doesn't wanna see themselves waving like a maniac from behind the shoulder of a reporter doing a story on location.

Lady Doctor

Today I went to get felt up, which means I had my annual lady doctor appointment. This is my third doctor to see, after my home doctor and the doctor I saw in my college town, I have made the observation that the waiting room is always made up of the same people. There is the married pregnant couple with the husband who couldn't look less enthused to be there, the pregnant mom who has 2 small children in tow and doesn’t require her husband to be at every appointment anymore so she’s wrangling the fussy tots herself, then there’s the couple who looks way too young to be having a baby sitting waiting with fear in their eyes. Then there’s me, drinking coffee because I’m the only one in the room still allowed to shoot up with caffeine waiting for my turn to renew my birth control prescription. I left the appointment with a pep in my step because my birth control came in a super cute dual-use case and who doesn’t love free stuff? I realized by the time I got home the reason I was so cheery was because that was the most girl talk I had had in months. I shot the breeze with the nurse for awhile and the doctor was so funny. It was so liberating just making jokes about being a girl again. When you’re married to the military you feel more like a wife and less like a woman most of the time.