I cant do titles. I should get a thesaurus.

My new boss just asked me for a catchy title for his sermon this sunday. "You're a writer," he says, "come up with something catchy for me." He sits there staring at me waiting for me to pop something off the top of my head and when I don't come up with anything in 30 seconds he sends me back to my office with somewhat frustration and dissapointment in his voice. After all I AM A WRITER. This has happened to me before. I mention that I write and people ask me for input and I always freeze up. The thing is, it's easier for me to write about something that Ive been able to brainstorm about for more than a milisecond. And titles have never been my thing, I can hardly title these blog posts. But I guess until I can provide shotgun titles and ideas on a whim for whomever it may concern my credibility is on the line. That's a lot of missed opportunity to be cheated out of. How rediculous.

Im back-ish

So I have been chasing this ambition of being a writer by taking a gig writing about bridal fashion for Examiner.com so what free time I have after finding a day job I have been dedicating to that column and not this blog. I chose Bridal fashion for the website because well.....it's easy for me. Maybe Im still wrapped up in it because I never got a wedding but I like to write and it's something I can pump out articles about so it works. I make practically no money doing it but so it goes when chasing dreams. As for my new day job, at least the hours are good. I keep reminding myself that I am still young and everything now will change....I find comfort in that. I wish everyday we lived in Texas, especially now that it's summer Id give anything for my friends. I don't mesh with military people. I'm ready for the weekend.

aspiration complication.......

As I continue my search for employment I am getting a feel of what I really wanna do with myself......while searching for a job so that I can make money in the meantime. As much as I want to do great things with myself professionally, whatever I am granted success in will never be worth my holidays, family gatherings and vacations with my husband. Even though we all do it, I don't think any job is worth sacrificing those events. I'm sure nothing I could do in the office could top my first trip to Europe or come close to beholding the ancient pyramids with my own eyes. In the grand scheme of things my job will always ultimately be that thing I do so that I can do everything else. I have big aspirations for my career, but bigger aspirations for my life.

Great Expectations.....

How was life before movies? Really. Movies have set the standard for how we gage our lives. Disney single handedly shaped our expectations of love. What did people expect out of love before Disney? Left to their own devices, with no outside influences, was life any different? What did women expect out of a relationship before they knew they could be "swept off their feet" or "carried off into the sunset." Disney could have single-handedly killed relationships because he gave women too many expectations. And you know how I feel about expectations, they are the biggest buzz kill you could ever bestow on a relationship and a successful relationship is best made without them. The minute you expect something out of someone you are ruining a good thing. If what you expected to happen manifests itself then great! But when it doesn't you have given yourself unnecessary disappointment and created doubt in your other half. But ALWAYS expect great things in yourself, because if no one ever had great expectations for themselves we wouldn't have the movies. And even though they blur the lines between fantasy and reality they help us to dream....and I have nothing against dreaming.

suck it grocery store

Today I battled my most hated nemesis again.....the grocery store, with the added obstacle of rain. As I wiggled in between my car and the one next to it parked incredibly too close, trying not to rub my clean jeans against this guys passenger door coated in damp red dirt, I had my usual thought...."Why isn't someone doing this for me?" I thought that if my husband had made this trip he wouldn't be having as much trouble as I was. He wouldn't be struggling to see through the raincoat hood that was sheltering styled hair, or shuffling as fast as he could on wet concrete in heels, or struggling with the weight of his purchase and falling bra straps. Is it hard because I'm a girl? Or is it hard because I make it hard? Grocery shopping is always a struggle for me and today it extra sucked. It was supposed to rain all day today but it only ended up raining for about half an hour.....the half an hour I went to the store.

Bank Tell All

Has anyone ever applied for a job at a bank? It almost isn't worth the guarantee of having Sundays and all government holidays off. I applied for a teller position yesterday and after I uploaded my resume AS WELL as entered my entire job history from the past 3 years I began their "survey." This is never a "survey" or a "questionnaire," it is a test. A previous bank I had applied to had a "survey" of 65 questions, which was work enough, but the bank I was applying to yesterday fed me a "survey" of 106 questions! It was everything from a psychological profile to an algebra review. It took me an hour and a half and by the time I finished all the stupid bank's application requirements I didn't even want the job anymore. But I did experience a feeling I haven't felt in years. The post test - self-esteem took a hit - brain is tired - what the FRIK was that - feeling.


Hi Christie, Candice, Hailey and Leanne. Thanks for reading!

Time.......

Time has become a slippery, tricky, beast of a thing lately. The seasons can't even keep up seeing as how we had a blizzard on the first day of spring today. And since we are all eager for a change of scenery this was the extra pinch of discouragement on the mound of cabin fever we are trying to brush off our shoulders. As another and another and another day passes and I still don't have the super human ability to stop time so that I can do some catch up work, I actually get increasingly annoyed. I don't expect the world to stop turning but for goodness sake......could it meet me in the middle somewhere? As I was pounding the elyptical and contimplating this whole subject I realized time does stand still, in one place.......our hearts. Time can freeze for years in there and we don't have any more control over what files itself away than we have control over the seasons.....however confused they may be. But what's there stays until you can catch up to it, and only when you fully grasp what's in your heart will you be able to move on. And THAT is how I wish I could live my days, with time to catch my breath. I get it though. We need to be on someone else's ticker, because if we weren't we'd all be a bloody mess. (sry I watched a Harry Potter marathon today)